I first said that I was “CrossFitting” in January 2013. It was at my last Oakley trip to Snowbird, Utah. All the ambassadors, Oakley employees, etc were sitting around when someone announced that it would be fun to talk about ourselves (“it’s your time to brag!” I think someone said…). Cool idea. I never talk about myself in that way–I rarely feel comfortable talking about my past successes in college soccer, but I thought, why not? So as I talked about that, mentioned that I just ran my first marathon, I slipped in that I started dabbling in CrossFit. Little did I know that those “dabbles” turned into full-blown dedication to the sport!
About a few weeks after this fun trip, I learned that I was, along with a handful of other girls, being let go as an Oakley Ambassador. It’s hard to describe the feelings I felt that day–mostly it flowed from anger, sadness, to jealousy. I found it hard for me to get motivated to run, instead I wanted to throw some heavy weight around. So I did.
I dived so deep into CrossFit. If anyone asked me the question of “why do you CrossFit?” at that point those few months ago, my answer would’ve been something along the lines of:
“To show them what they’ll be missing.”
I was feeling betrayed, unappreciated, so I wanted to do something extraordinary to prove them wrong. But I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I started to wear myself down, got tired easier than before, so I took another break to re-evaluate everything.
During my little mental break, I realized one important thing (ok, many important things, but I will spare you…):
You cannot change what others think of you or measure you self-worth based on others perceptions of you and your life. You can only love yourself and be happy and thankful with what you’ve been given.
Slowly my feelings of anger, sadness, and jealously disappeared. They were replaced with thankfulness (for the opportunity with Oakley, for the friends I made, and giving me my love of blogging, quotes, etc), happiness (with my freedom to not have to promote constantly, with my fun life that I always had), and motivation (to try new things without fear of failure, to come back stronger from setback).
With all of this, CrossFit seemed to consistently reappear in my thoughts. I decided that if I was going to do this I would dive in, full speed ahead, and give it my all. No more “just running” workouts, it was time to kick some serious ass.
Most of the time with CrossFit I found that I can be completely humbled by a workout. I thought I was in shape, especially after running 26.2 miles, but it was nothing compared to what I experience with CrossFit on a daily basis.
I decided the time is as good as any to get back after it. “Here we go, CrossFit, here we go!” I felt like singing it from the mountaintops that I was going to be completely dedicated to this. I remember my first WOD (workout of the day) that I did to see how I fared…Fran. 21-15-9 reps of thrusters and pull-ups. Elite women can do this workout in about 2:00!! I was somewhere over 10, closing in on 15. I couldn’t even Rx (meaning, I couldn’t use the prescribed weight for the thrusters and every pull-up was assisted). This could have discouraged some people, but I was bound and determined to do it and improve. The learning process over the past few months was constant. There was always something to work on and make better, so I was thankful that my weightlifting program in college consisted of CrossFit’s main strength lifts (squats, cleans, jerks, deadlifts, etc). It was fun lifting like that again, and I loved everything minute of it.
As my CrossFit months moved on, I saw progress on nearly everything I did. I can overhead squat with great flexibility, Deadlift over 200lbs, front and back squat more than my body weight, push press almost 100lbs, I can finally do pull-ups unassisted, and can do handstand push-ups!!
Who doesn’t want to lift more than your body weight? Who doesn’t want to push heavy weights over your head? Who doesn’t want to get stronger and faster? For me, those answers were simple. I knew this was for me. I have never felt more confident, stronger, and more beautiful than I do right now. This is why I love this sport. This is why I CrossFit.
“There is no passion to be found playing small–in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” (Nelson Mandela)